In this land of wind and rain, we got an unexpected snow storm. Then an ice storm, followed by a wind storm. With the power knocked out for four days, and no way to get to the barn, Gracie got a 7 day vacation. I don't know if it was being cooped up, feeling forgotten, the unexpected cold and then high winds, or a mixture of all of the above but Gracie developed a bit of an attitude. Bucking, spooking, bolting...she was the poster child for a fresh OTTB mare if I've ever seen one. And this made me really nervous. I managed to stay sticky in my seat for the 20 or so spooks we encountered, though I did lose my stirrup one one of the bigger ones. Nonetheless, this behavior only 20 days before our first show started causing me some anxiety.
4 rides, a lesson, a practice show lesson, and a talking to from her owner, and we are slowly getting back to where we were, except my trust still isnt where it was. She had never spooked with me, never bucked with me. Though a little stubborn, I felt like she had been taking care of me. Now the "what ifs" are hanging around. What if she does this at the show, what if she does this when we're riding alone, what if the calm schoolmaster Gracie doesn't return?
While trying to push my doubts aside, I did realize that, though my equitation may not be getting a lot of practice, my riding is indeed getting stronger while dealing with these issues. I'm learning to handle a hotter horse than I'm used to, and learning to move past my fears for the love of my sport.
We've also decided to continue the lease for a year...I must have some hope that this story ends well somewhere in the depths of my doubts.
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